Monty Python Ipsum

Well, I think I should point out first, Brian, in all fairness, we are not, in fact, the rescue committee. However, I have been asked to read the following prepare statement on behalf of the movement. "We the People's Front of Judea, brackets, officials, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom."

I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off! Oh, what wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face? I sometimes hang awake at night, dreaming of being spat at in the face Stwike him, Centuwion! Stwike him vewy wuffly! Manacles! Ooooh, my idea of heaven, is to be allowed to be put in manacles. Just for a few hours. They must think the sun shines out your ass, sonny. This morning, shortly after 11:00, comedy struck this little house on Dibley Road. Sudden, violent comedy. There's no Messiah in here. There's a mess all right, but no Messiah. Now go away! What is the capital of Assyria?

What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy. Hey! Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face by the time I'm finished with you! I'm afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue. It's not pining, it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies! It's metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off the mortal coil, rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!